Great Moments in the News: Onion Sandwiches
February 1st, 2010Filed Under: ham, mayonnaise, miscellaneous with 0 Comments
Today, in The Onion:
Mayonnaise, Black Forest Ham To Share Top Billing In Upcoming SandwichFEBRUARY 1, 2010
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Lunch insiders confirmed rumors Monday that Mayonnaise and Black Forest Ham would share top billing in a highly anticipated upcoming sandwich, which sources said is still in the early stages of development. The on-bread reunion will be the first time the popular duo has teamed up since costarring in a widely acclaimed Italian grinder in 2009. Recent kitchen reports stated that the sandwich itself was almost abandoned when it appeared that a prior commitment to star in a low-budget chicken salad might have rendered Mayonnaise unavailable. Sources would not confirm rumors that Shredded Lettuce and Melted Provolone are also involved, but confirmed that, despite early interest, Ketchup just wasn’t right for the project.
London Broil is Falling Down
August 5th, 2009Filed Under: beef, mayonnaise, mustard, provolone, toasted with 0 Comments
. . . down my gullet, that is. I was at the store, buying cold cuts, when I absentmindedly ordered an entire pound of London broil. “How will I eat this all?” I wondered. Turns out I had no need to worry, because the stuff was absolutely delicious. Goes great on a sandwich (see above), especially with a nice dijon mustard. It also goes great by itself, eaten directly out of the package.
Ham and Law
April 21st, 2009Filed Under: ham, mayonnaise, mustard with 0 Comments
In half an hour, I’ll have a three-hour essay exam that will be the sole determining factor for my grade in a three-credit class. Thankfully, I had the foresight to pack a sandwich of baked Virginia ham on a delectable seven-grain sourdough. So even if I can’t remember whether Congress is permitted to effectively conscript state executive officers into enforcing its laws (it isn’t), at least I won’t be lacking for nutrition.
Pepper-turkey
April 16th, 2009Filed Under: mayonnaise, mustard, turkey with 0 Comments
As I may have mentioned, I have a thing for pepper. But can you blame me? After all, pepper is known as “the gift of the east.” (Let’s ignore the fact that gift means ‘poison’ in Swedish.)
Anyway, this is another case of pepper spicing up an otherwise-bland cold cut. I’m trying not to reflect upon the way the pepper is evenly distributed through the uniform, textureless slices of ‘turkey’ here. I really don’t know what kind of processing it’s been through. Thankfully, it ends up being rather tasty.
A New Sandwich for America
January 20th, 2009Filed Under: ham, mayonnaise, mustard, münster with 0 Comments
A veritable shitload of people gathered on and around the National Mall today, to celebrate the inauguration of a new President. Some waited for hours in the bitter cold or drove from hundreds of miles away; others were lucky enough to arrive and find a place to stand fifteen minutes before the ceremonies started. People of every race, creed, and color were standing together, united in one common trait — hunger.
Seriously, though, I knew I’d be standing out there a long time. So I brought sandwiches.
Hesburger’s Rukkifileeburger
July 23rd, 2008Filed Under: mayonnaise, onion, pork cutlet, tomato with 6 Comments
Back in May, my family went on a trip to Estonia. While there, I had the opportunity to eat at places one does not generally eat at in the United States.
For example, Hesburger. A fast-food joint, not unlike the places we know of with kingly burgers or burgers owned by a clown. However, as Hesburger is more of a European thing, they can have some interesting things there.
This sandwich is the “Rukkifileeburger”, which is Estonian for “Rye fillet burger”. Adding the “burger” on the end is a little misleading, since it contains a pork fillet of some sort, and not a meat patty we generally associate with burgers.
Anyway, the main ingredients are the pork, lettuce, tomatoes, and onion rings, with some manner of special sauce (“paprika mayo” apparently), all between two slices of dark rye bread. Rye bread is more popular in some European countries, so Hesburger decided to offer rye sandwiches in their burger joints, I guess.
The sandwich was a little better than I expected, but I wasn’t really expecting much. The rye bread was interesting… I expected slices of a loaf of rye, but it’s more like one of those rectangular shaped chicken sandwiches you might find in fast food places here in the US. Except instead of whatever bun they’d use here, it was rye bread.
Still, it could’ve been better. I mean, this is fast food we’re talkin’ here. Fast food isn’t well known for the greatest of sandwiches. But I greatly support unusual sandwich choices in places, and this gave me a chance to write about rye-fillet-burgers. I’d eat another if I get the chance, though largely for the novelty of eating an odd sandwich like this in a fast food place.
Full Sandwich, Half Dome
December 30th, 2007Filed Under: cheese, mayonnaise, mustard, turkey with 0 Comments
“Hunger,” Benjamin Franklin is alleged to have stated, “is the best pickle.” There are a few different things that might mean — a few of the dictionary definitions for the noun pickle are: a cucumber, or other vegetable or foodstuff, preserved in brine or marinade; a liquid usually prepared with salt or vinegar for preserving or flavoring fish, meat, vegetables, etc.; Informal. a troublesome or awkward situation. So which of those makes sense? [1]
- “Hunger is the best [preserved cucumber]“? That’s just silly, and doesn’t seem to carry any meaning, even as a metaphor.
- “Hunger is the best [predicament]“? Hunger certainly can be quite a predicament — and an extremely troublesome (even lethal) one at that. But is it really the best predicament? Seems a rather unfortunate predicament to me.
- “Hunger is the best [flavorful brine or marinade]“? Finally, we appear to be getting somewhere. If hunger is the best spice, why can’t it be the best brine, too?
Anyway, whatever Benjamin Franklin had in mind, this much is clear: hiking four miles and 3000 vertical feet in Yosemite Valley makes you hungry. And that hunger makes an already-delicious sandwich taste even better.
[1] Interestingly enough, all of these meanings were in use by Franklin’s time: “brine or marinade” dates from c.1440; “cucumber preserved in brine” was first recorded in 1707; and the figurative sense of “sorry plight” was first recorded in 1562.
Mass-produced love
May 31st, 2007Filed Under: ham, lettuce, mayonnaise, onion, provolone, tomato with 0 Comments
A perfectly competent sandwich, if nothing particularly special. Made on an assembly line.
Is a burger a sandwich?
May 28th, 2007Filed Under: beef, mayonnaise, tabasco chipotle pepper sauce with 0 Comments
Is a burger a sandwich? I’m going to say sure, if it contains two types of lettuce, tomato, red onion, mayo, sweet relish, and chipotle tabasco sauce. Thankfully, this fits the bill.