London Broil is Falling Down

August 5th, 2009

Filed Under: beef, mayonnaise, mustard, provolone, toasted with 0 Comments

London Broil

. . . down my gullet, that is. I was at the store, buying cold cuts, when I absentmindedly ordered an entire pound of London broil. “How will I eat this all?” I wondered. Turns out I had no need to worry, because the stuff was absolutely delicious. Goes great on a sandwich (see above), especially with a nice dijon mustard. It also goes great by itself, eaten directly out of the package.

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Easter Leftovers

April 13th, 2009

Filed Under: beef with 0 Comments

beef on challah

The best part of any feast or holiday spread is raiding the fridge afterwards, and Ôstarâ’s spring festival is certainly no exception. So what we have here is a hunk of beef roast on a buttered slice of homemade challah — deliciousness through and through.

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Brain Sandwich

December 17th, 2007

Filed Under: beef, brain, meat, onion, pickle, vegetables with 10 Comments

This summer I visited Ferguson’s Pub in St. Louis, pursuing the holy grail of sandwich related journalism: the Brain Sandwich. This massive chunk of beef brain has been increasingly hard to find, due to fears of Mad Cow disease and general disgustingness, but St. Louis remains blissfully willing to consider the following as edible:

Brain Sandwich 001

Not much in the way of ingredients, the brain sandwich overwhelms a couple of pickle slices and two small pieces of rye (destroyed by the hard deep fried texture of the brain like wooden ships against a rocky coast). Onions are supplied for those inclined…

Brain Sandwich 002

The sandwich itself is remarkably tasty at first – the edges have a high surface area to mass ratio, meaning you get a lot of deep fried goodness per mouthful of brain. However, as you get deeper into the organ, it starts to squirt fluid into your mouth with each bite, and the texture becomes much wetter and less crunchy. As you reach the middle of the sandwich, the realization that you’re eating undercooked brain replaces any remaining enjoyment with a wholly blanketing nausea.

Brain Sandwich 003

I’m looking forward to my inevitable case of bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

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Roast beef sandwich

October 13th, 2007

Filed Under: beef, mustard, provolone, toasted with 0 Comments

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I was at the grocery store when a beautiful loaf of rye bread caught my eye and began begging and pleading for me to make a sandwich with it. I tried to avert my gaze and continue down the aisle, but it was no use—I couldn’t get those shapely slices, those gorgeous caraway seeds, out of my mind. I went back and apologized for even considering being so heartless and cruel, proudly gave the bread the seat of honor in my shopping cart, and made my way over to the deli department to pick up some other ingredients of a similar caliber. No cheap stuff today; both the roast beef and the provolone (sharp, never mild) were Boar’s Head™.

And it was delicious.

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Non-perishable sandwich

August 28th, 2007

Filed Under: beef, jerky, pretzels with 0 Comments

non-perishable sandwich

This sandwich was definitely the driest and saltiest sandwich I’ve ever eaten. I have likely eaten a sandwich that was drier, probably based around matzoh, Finn Crisp, or some other thoroughly dehydrated flatbread; and I have also likely eaten a sandwich that was saltier, probably involving herring or some other fish. I’m pretty sure, though, that the combination of dryness and saltiness you get when you combine pretzels and jerky is one for the record books.

It’s also, interestingly enough, a very tasty and satisfying sandwich, even for such a tiny package. Just as long as you have a beverage to wash it down with.

This pretzel-and-jerky monstrosity was created and consumed somewhere in the middle of nowhere in a Utah desert, hundreds of miles from civilization. If kept in a dry place, it would have stayed edible for months, making it the perfect ration food. However, the quartermaster, navigator, and skipper of our crew were going 80 miles an hour down the interstate at the time of the sandwich’s production, and were not overly concerned with saving food. Quite the opposite, in fact; the jumbo-size jug of pretzels was far larger than the journey required.

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Is a burger a sandwich?

May 28th, 2007

Filed Under: beef, mayonnaise, tabasco chipotle pepper sauce with 0 Comments

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Is a burger a sandwich? I’m going to say sure, if it contains two types of lettuce, tomato, red onion, mayo, sweet relish, and chipotle tabasco sauce. Thankfully, this fits the bill.

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