Pepper-turkey

April 16th, 2009

Filed Under: mayonnaise, mustard, turkey with 0 Comments

Pepper-turkey

As I may have mentioned, I have a thing for pepper. But can you blame me? After all, pepper is known as “the gift of the east.” (Let’s ignore the fact that gift means ‘poison’ in Swedish.)

Anyway, this is another case of pepper spicing up an otherwise-bland cold cut. I’m trying not to reflect upon the way the pepper is evenly distributed through the uniform, textureless slices of ‘turkey’ here. I really don’t know what kind of processing it’s been through. Thankfully, it ends up being rather tasty.

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Turkeymünster

April 16th, 2008

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One of my enduring shames is the amount of food I allow to go bad. Every trip to the grocery store is full of high hopes and good intentions, but any perishables I buy often end up, well, perishing. I’ve thrown out potatoes that had more eyes than a beholder, sealed plastic bags full of a viscous goop that used to be cut salad, loaves of bread engulfed by the penicillin equivalent of Trantor—and even cold cuts well past being well past their prime.

This time, I said to myself, would be different. And it has been! Before today, I hadn’t brought lunch from home in ages. Here’s hoping this trend continues.

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Full Sandwich, Half Dome

December 30th, 2007

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20071230halfdomesmall

“Hunger,” Benjamin Franklin is alleged to have stated, “is the best pickle.” There are a few different things that might mean — a few of the dictionary definitions for the noun pickle are: a cucumber, or other vegetable or foodstuff, preserved in brine or marinade; a liquid usually prepared with salt or vinegar for preserving or flavoring fish, meat, vegetables, etc.; Informal. a troublesome or awkward situation. So which of those makes sense? [1]

Anyway, whatever Benjamin Franklin had in mind, this much is clear: hiking four miles and 3000 vertical feet in Yosemite Valley makes you hungry. And that hunger makes an already-delicious sandwich taste even better.

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[1] Interestingly enough, all of these meanings were in use by Franklin’s time: “brine or marinade” dates from c.1440; “cucumber preserved in brine” was first recorded in 1707; and the figurative sense of “sorry plight” was first recorded in 1562.

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The Count

June 3rd, 2007

Filed Under: ham with 0 Comments

Monte Cristo

I ordered this because I didn’t know what it was, and because Google changed the syntax on the Google SMS search. It used to be you could send an SMS that said, for example, d monte cristo sandwich and you’d get a useful result. Apparently nowadays you have to spell out define instead of d, or you get a response along the lines of “Huh?”

It was at this point that my cellphone decided that it wasn’t getting any signal after all (thanks, T-Mobile) so I was out of even rudimentary contact with the internet. And, of course, I wasn’t about to ask the waitress what the hell a Monte Cristo was.

In short, I don’t regret having gotten this sandwich, since one must always keep an open mind and it’s nice to try new things. That said, I have no desire to ever eat another one of these so long as I live, because it was absolutely disgusting. Apparently meat and cheese don’t go very well with French toast.

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