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I made the mistake of buying prepackaged sandwich meat in an opaque package. It claimed to be “slow-roasted roast beef”. But to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen: I have served roast beef. I know roast beef. Roast beef is a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no roast beef.
Upon opening the package, I had a number of thoughts running through my head all at once. For example: “Huh, slices of roast beef aren’t usually completely round.” “This looks like baloney, or possibly bologna, but with gristle, or possibly imitation gristle.” “What’s that smell?” and many others.
But upon tasting a slice, I had only these two thoughts: first, that I had a lot of sympathy for Fry’s remark that “That’s the saltiest thing I’ve ever tasted. And I once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!”; second, that I was definitely going to have to reference this post, because that pretzel-and-jerky concoction was much less salty than this.
I was foolish enough to think that maybe it wouldn’t taste quite so bad slathered in condiments and between bread. I was wrong. I was foolish enough to think that maybe a rooftop view of a major American city would maybe distract me from the taste. Wrong again. Maybe I should have just flung it over the edge.
At the Outer Banks, as in life, sometimes you’re ocean-side and sometimes you’re sound-side — and either way, everyone likes a nice sandwich for lunch. In this case, everyone (meaning me) had marble rye piled high with teriyaki-flavored chicken that I took a chance on and that ended up being quite tasty.
When you’re on a ferry between Tallinn and Helsinki, you’re really the definition of a captive audience. Want some duty-free perfume, toys, or candy? You’re in luck (as long as you enjoy smelling licorice, playing with licorice, and eating licorice, respectively*). Want anything else, though, and you better hope the on-board businesses have you covered. […]
A burger is a sandwich. And an open-faced sandwich is a sandwich. So it stands to reason that an open-faced burger is a sandwich, too. Especially if the burger includes thick-sliced, fatty bacon; pickled onions; black bread; and a venison patty. Also, when I say “fatty” bacon, I suspect you may not fully understand just […]